


Epithalamium

by the_roots_that_clutch



Category: Dominion (TV)
Genre: Gen, claire/ethan friendship, one sided william/claire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2014-10-24
Packaged: 2018-02-22 09:19:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2502605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_roots_that_clutch/pseuds/the_roots_that_clutch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Claire Riesen doesn’t exist anymore.  Claire Riesen was a little girl who believed in fairytales, who foolishly believed that her story would have a happy ending, the princess and the savior.  Real life isn’t a fairytale and there are no happy endings.  The only real ending is the one William received.  Death is the only ending.  Claire Riesen was naïve; too trusting, too soft.</p><p>Claire Whele will be something else entirely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Epithalamium

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on tumblr ages ago and figured it was time to finally post it here.

It rains at the funeral. The black umbrella Claire holds over her face helps to hide the tears in her eyes. She isn’t sure why she’s crying; William isn’t worth her tears. He’s a traitor and a coward.

 _Was_. He was a traitor and a coward. He was a liar and a hypocrite. He was her friend.

Maybe that’s who she cries for, the boy from her childhood who held her hand and whispered secrets in her ear. The boy who she spoke to about missing mothers and losing faith and difficult fathers. She could have loved that boy; if not for Alex. In a world that makes sense, it is what would be, childhood friends become lovers, the marriage that unites the city and leads it to a prosperous future. But the world does not make sense and William is no longer that boy. That boy Claire loved, the man he became she hates.

She was going to let him raise her child. She thought she could love him someday; that she’d eventually get over Alex and learn to love him. She trusted him, and he betrayed her.

Perhaps her tears are tears of anger. Or maybe she’s mourning the life she could have had; her grief is for Alex, for her father, for Becca, for the world that might have been. The world William could have been a part of, if any he was a better man.

Claire lets the tears fall. A wife should mourn her husband. No one will know her tears are for herself.

David stands beside her, face blank as a canvas. There are no tears in his eyes, but he grieves. Claire cannot find it in herself to hold it against him; William is his son, no matter what else he was. Love does not break so easily.

His hand brushes hers and at first she thinks he means for them to join hands, a silent sign of unity for the people, the grieving wife taking comfort in her father-in-law. Appearance is, after all, of the upmost importance. Loss and suffering are not enough to halt the charade. Claire lets her hand slide into his, thinks briefly of her own father and holding his hand like this at her mother’s funeral.

David’s hand presses something soft into hers. A tissue. “Thank you,” Claire says softly, politely, her years as her father’s daughter leaving her manners sharpened into instinct.

“Clean your face,” David says lowly, “You’re a Whele now, and Whele’s don’t cry.”

She’s a Whele now. She’d change her name back if she could, but it’d be suspicious. Claire Riesen doesn’t exist anymore. Claire Riesen was a little girl who believed in fairytales, who foolishly believed that her story would have a happy ending, the princess and the savior. Real life isn’t a fairytale and there are no happy endings. The only real ending is the one William received. Death is the only ending. Claire Riesen was naïve; too trusting, too soft.

Claire Whele will be something else entirely.

*

“I’m pregnant,” Claire says without preamble.

Ethan isn’t all that surprised. Alex asked him to take care of her, and he’d told her as much when she cornered him and asked after where Alex. He’d told her the truth then, that Alex wouldn’t tell him, but he’d said to look after her. Claire isn’t the sort of woman who needs looking after, she’s perfectly capable of handling herself, but she’s in a dangerous position. Power always comes with danger, and Claire is running out of people to trust.

She trusts him because Alex trusts him. That’s enough. She’s alone; her father is gone, Alex is gone, her husband is gone. Ethan understands alone; Alex and Noma are gone, and they are the closest thing he has to family. Alex is his brother, by bond if not blood, and that makes his unborn child family. It makes Claire family.

“The people will think its William’s. They’ll think it’s why we moved forward the wedding.”

Ethan knows the answer, but the question has to be asked. “Is there any chance it is?”

The corners of Claire’s mouth curl up into a bitter sort of smile. “No, not the slightest.”

The venom in her voice surprises him; he’d thought Claire was fond of William. Ethan may not have noticed Alex and Claire’s affair, but he saw the way William Whele looked at her, the warmth in his gaze. His affections for her were genuine, and even if Claire was only marrying him for politics, Ethan had thought William was a friend of hers. The sort it would be bearable to be trapped in a passionless marriage with. Clearly, there is something he missed.

“Can I trust you with a secret?” Claire asks, tilting her head to look his way. Her eyes are intense and hopeful, and for a moment Ethan can see why Alex fell for her. It was the sort of look that made one feel like they were the only person in the world, like there was no one else in the world they so desperately wanted to speak with. To be caught under that gaze could be overwhelming. Claire was magnetic; Alex could not help but be pulled into her orbit.

“You mean another one?”

Claire lays a hand over her stomach. “I can’t keep this secret long. No, this is about William. About how he died.” “

He was killed by Gabriel’s acolytes.” It was what David Whele had said, that Gabriel had him killed to send a message, to shake the people’s faith. He’d given quite a speech, Ethan half expected him to take up the principate title himself.

“Yes, David made him into a real martyr, didn’t he?”

“I don’t understand, Ma’am.”

Claire looks off in the distance, hands gripping the armrests of her chair. “William wasn’t killed by acolytes; he was one. David handled it. The people can’t know; it would devastate them.”

Ethan doesn’t know what to say to that. It isn’t the sort of secret that William should have been able to keep. He isn’t a man of faith himself, he needs something a little more substantial. But he understands that faith gives people comfort, and the truth about William could destroy that faith. Life is hard enough without taking the few comforts people have afforded to them. “I won’t tell anyone. You have my word.”

“Gabriel’s acolytes are everywhere. They could be anyone.”

Ethan’s hand subconsciously drifts toward his weapon. “I won’t let anyone hurt you, Ma’am.”

Claire smiles gently, the first genuine smile he’s seen in days. “I know you won’t. You’re the only person left that I trust.”

The weight of the words settle squarely on his shoulders. It’s alright; Ethan can bear their weight. He promised Alex. He’ll keep Claire and her baby safe, or he’ll die trying. “I won’t let you down.”

*

Gabriel doesn’t come for him.

Three days he wanders, and no one comes. He prays, he shouts himself hoarse, he cries. He is alone. It hurts; an old familiar hurt, the hurt when his father looked at him like he didn’t quite measure up. It takes him another two days to realize why it’s so familiar—he expected it.

His faith feels like a lie. He’s been broken by his father, taught to expect the worst, to never hope for any sign of affection or care. Better to expect nothing than risk disappointment. But Gabriel is supposed to make him strong in his broken places. Make him worthy.

But he isn’t worthy enough to be saved. Gabriel doesn’t send anyone for him; he just leaves him to rot. William tells himself that Gabriel will be pleased that he’s alive. He hasn’t sent anyone to save him because he expects him to be strong. He expects William to save himself.

William heads to Gabriel because he has nowhere else to go.

He walks and he wonders. He wonders why Gabriel didn’t tell him his plan, why he let Claire find out what he was. He wonders about Claire, about how she’s doing, if she’s being taken care of. His father will take care of her, surely. His father will see that she’s safe. They may not like each other, but they are family now. They will take care of each other.

William remembers the look in Claire’s eyes, the hurt when she realizes the truth. She trusted him. She deceived him, but she trusted him. Chose him. In the end, she chose him over Alex. Maybe it was only what was best for her and her baby, but she chose him. She had faith in him, believed that he could help her take care of her child, raise it safely. What greater trust was there then to trust someone to care for your child?

Years of friendship, of trust, shattered in seconds. All of it lost for his faith in Gabriel. That is what he traded; Claire’s faith in him for his faith in Gabriel.

And it is only when he realizes this that he realizes why Gabriel has abandoned him. His love for Claire. He spoke the truth when he offered to raise her child and be a family with her. The child of the chosen one, and him willing to raise it and care for it for the sake of her. For a chance at winning her love. Claire may think him a traitor, but he has always been loyal. His loyalties may lie differently, but he is devoted to those he loves. Gabriel, his father, Claire. He loved his father too much to let him go, to kill him when he had the chance. He loves Claire too much to use her child against her. His loyalty to them is what has him cast aside.

His god is a jealous god. Gabriel will not bear anyone placed before him, even beside him. To serve Gabriel is have him be the center of one’s world, the point which all else revolves around. He failed to drive out his father and his world expanded with Claire. He lost faith, he wavered in his devotion. He lost faith in Gabriel, so Gabriel lost faith in him.

Everything he has ever worked for is gone. His father, Claire, his home. Soon, even his life, because he’ll never make it out here alone. He hasn’t the skills or the supplies. All he has is his faith, and for the first time in years, he doubts.

*

Ethan becomes Claire’s unofficial bodyguard. Where she goes he follows, a permanent shadow.  It means he spends more time in house Whele than he ever wanted to, and more time around David Whele.

Claire and David circle each other like lions waiting for the other to attack first. There is small talk and stiff politeness, empty smiles and uneasy eyes. Having them in the same house is a deadly combination, a slow poison of distrust and paranoia. Ethan thinks they would have never liked each other, he doesn’t understand politics, but he knows the thirst for power when he sees it. David wants it, and there isn’t much he will not do to keep it. Claire wants it, not for herself, but to make a difference, to help the people. But sometimes he looks at her and thinks that she wants it for herself as well.

It doesn’t change his opinion of her. It’s human nature to want; Claire is good enough to restrain her darker parts. She’ll be a good leader, better than her father. But she was supposed to lead beside William, not his father. David will make things difficult, especially with William gone. He sits between them, the elephant in every room.

“David knows about the baby.”

Claire is looking out the window, hands methodically pulling pins from her hair until it tumbles around her shoulders in a dark wave. “He knows it’s Alex’s.”

“You think he’s going to do something?” Ethan wouldn’t be shocked. David Whele is the sort of man who would have no trouble killing an unborn child. He would never be able to claim it as his blood, say it was his grandchild. Not for the first time, Ethan wishes Claire had discovered the truth about William before the wedding. Playing grieving widow is difficult enough, Ethan can see the anger in her eyes. The people will think it’s anger towards Gabriel, anger at losing someone she loves, but Ethan knows better. He sees the hatred burning inside her, the pain of betrayal. Saying this baby is William’s will be like twisting a knife into her heart.

“I know about William. He doesn’t want to risk me exposing the truth; the damage to his reputation will be unrepairable.”

Ethan swallows the reply that sits on his tongue. There are things better left unsaid. Claire quirks an eyebrow at him, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “Go on.”

“No disrespect, Ma’am-“

“I’ve told you, call me Claire-”

“Claire, but if it damages house Whele’s reputation, it damages yours as well. You’re one of them now.”

Claire twists the ring on her finger and smiles bitterly. “I know. Another wedding gift from my husband.”

“You didn’t know when you married him. The people will believe that.” It sounds weak even to Ethan’s ears. The people resent the system, distrust politicians on principle. They will suspect.

“The people will doubt,” Claire says. “The senate, everything, it could all fall apart. Without faith in its leaders the city will fall. Gabriel won’t need to fight us, we’ll destroy each other.”

The senate has always had a tenuous hold on power. The V system left those in the lower ranks angry and resentful and those in the higher ranks selfish and complacent. Unrest among the people is a real threat, and it would be a slippery slope to anarchy. “If it comes to that, we’ll leave the city.”

“Arika’s invited me for a visit. If nothing else you’ll enjoy being in a city full of women.”

“Not really, Ma’am.”

Claire looks back over her shoulder and laughs. “That explains it.”

Ethan shifts on his feet warily. “Explains what?”

“Why Arika doesn’t like you. Her usual methods for dealing with men won’t work on you.”

Ethan remembers the first time he met Arika, how quickly she had figured him out. She’s smart, too smart. She knew how to look and see things others missed. “I think she has other methods. She’s dangerous. I wouldn’t trust her.”

Claire’s smile faded. “No, I wouldn’t trust her. I just trust her more than David.”

Ethan tries to lighten the mood. “If it makes you feel better, I think everyone’s supposed to have trouble getting along with the in-laws.” He gets a small smile for his efforts.

“I’ll talk to Arika tomorrow and arrange things.”

*

William is lost.

He’s given up reaching Gabriel’s, so he’s taken to wandering along near the road, scavenging for food. He’s dirtier than he has ever been in his life, mud caked on his pants and shoes, dirt in his hair and streaked on his face. His hair is stringy and limp and sticks to his forehead with sweat. His throat is dry and burns like fire. The only water he’s had is where he sucked brown water from a puddle. There is no food, except for the worms and vermin he can dig from the earth, the plants that he guesses won’t kill him.

It takes him nearly a day to realize that he has been backtracking, got turned around somehow. He can’t find it in himself to care. He’s been sleeping in the dirt and muck, every part of him sore and aching, hungry and so thirsty he’s considered drinking his own piss. He has never been more alone in his life. He is broken, in every way a person can be.

If he’s meant to become stronger in his broken places, why does he feel so weak? If he is worthy, why is he abandoned? What has he done wrong? Why has his god forsaken him?

The ground isn’t as hard as he remembers when he sinks into it, too dizzy to stand. His legs no longer support his weight and his head spins. He’s very tired, but he can’t sleep. He isn’t allowed to. He can’t remember why. He blinks his eyes and his mother is lying beside him. Of course, he’s in his parents’ bed. He must have had a nightmare. His father hates when he crawls in bed with his mother, says that he’s too old for it.

He closes his eyes and feels grass tickle his cheek. Strange, how there is grass in his mother’s bed. But he shouldn’t be in his mother’s bed, he’s a grown man. He’s far too old for such childish things. Then again, he’s too tired to move and his father isn’t here to complain. It’s just his mother, and he hasn’t seen her in so long…

“You didn’t come to my wedding.”

His mother smiles wistfully. “William, my sweet boy, what’s happened to you?”

A panic floods his mind, tightens his chest, constricts his throat. “You’re dead. He killed you; I saw him kill you.”

“It should have been him; I’d rather it be him.” He’s frantic now, she has to know. His mother has to know that he’d rather have her, if there was a choice he’d pick her. She’d have protected him. She’d have loved him. “He’s the one who should have died.” He wants to reach out, to touch her, but he can’t lift his arms. “Mom-“

Her hand comes to rest on his cheek, cold, too cold. His closes his eyes, leans into the touch. “William, my William.”

The hand on his face becomes warmer and he feels a shift, a body hovering over his, the gentle press of lips against his own. He opens his eyes and sees Claire kneeling over him. She’s wearing her wedding dress and smiling at him like he is the only thing she sees. “Claire?”

She puts a finger to his lips. “Shh. We never had our wedding night.”

Claire leans towards him again and he closes his eyes, putting his hands on her waist, solid and warm and everything he ever wanted. Her mouth just brushes his when he feels something kick his leg. “Wake up, William.”

His father is kneeling next to him when he opens his eyes. “You came back for me.” The words choke out of him, and there’s a lump in his throat, hot tears stinging his eyes. His father came to save him. He’s not alone.

“Don’t be absurd; you’re hallucinating.” It sounds like his father, all sharp reproach and impatience. But of course no one has come to save him. Claire wants him dead. His father left him here to give him a chance. “You’re not real.”

“No, but as always, I’m taking care of you.” David frowns. “You should have found a way out of your own mess, William. You can’t even survive a few days on your own. That’s why Gabriel doesn’t want you. You’ve always been weak.”

William laughs bitterly. “Even in a hallucination you find a way to be disappointed in me.”

“I’m a figment of your imagination. Take some responsibility.”

William tries to sit up, barely manages it. “I’m dying, aren’t I?”

“Yes.”

He lets his head hang back. “I thought Gabriel would save me. Why didn’t he save me?”

His father tilts his head and looks at him. “Because you aren’t useful to him anymore.”

The truth sinks into him, the weight pushing him back to the ground. It’s cold and it’s harsh and it’s true. Gabriel doesn’t care. He never did. He didn’t appreciate him, value him, trust him. He was just an instrument to be used and discarded.

William has a forgiving heart, but he won’t forgive this. The thought gives him the strength to get up on his knees. Gabriel abandoned him, betrayed him, used him. William gave him everything, and Gabriel left him to die. He loved Gabriel, and lost everything for it, and Gabriel didn’t care at all. His faith shatters, souring into something darker and deadlier. Hatred. The thirst for revenge. William pushes himself to his feet, sways, stands. He does not fall.

And he feels a little stronger in his broken places.

*

Something is wrong.

Claire knows it without knowing how. It isn’t until the screaming starts that she realizes she’s walked into a trap. She hurls herself down to the floor of the car she shares with Arika. “What’s happening?”

Arika shakes her hair back over shoulder. “We’ve had to dispose of the soldiers you insisted on bringing. I did advise you against it.”

The door opens and Claire sees black wings and pale blonde hair. The woman sits down next to Arika and grins. “As you may have guessed, we are not who we said we were.”

“You’re an angel.”

“Archangel,” she corrects, “Uriel.”

Arika smiles like the cat that ate the canary. “Evelyn.”

Claire leans back against her seat. A dozen soldiers have just been murdered by an archangel. She thought Gabriel was their biggest problem, but now there’s another archangel. And an envoy of soldiers is dead. “Ethan…”

“Don’t worry; your guard dog is alive. I sent him with a message for my brother.”

Claire jerks upright. “You sent Ethan to Gabriel?”

Uriel laughs, a tinkling sound like bells. Claire wants to rip her hair out. “No, I sent him to find Michael. It’s time my brother stops brooding and saves the Chosen One.”

“What?” Claire says, voice too sharp, too eager. Her desperation will make her easy to manipulate, she tries to remember to remain calm, but it is difficult when it’s about Alex.

“Gabriel has him. Michael will go to his rescue and the Chosen One will come looking for you.”

“Leading him straight to you.”

Arika—or Evelyn—smirks at Uriel. “I told you she was clever. Much more reasonable than her father.”

“What do you want with me and Alex?” Claire demands. She’s sick of angels. She wishes Michael and Gabriel would just destroy each other and put an end to this. “Whose side are you on?”

“I want my brothers to end this war.”

“You and me both. But Alex won’t help you, not if you take me. And he won’t turn against Michael.” Claire knows Alex will forgive Michael. It’s his way. She’s inclined to agree; Vega needs to protection an archangel gives. Especially if there’s Uriel to worry about now.

Uriel’s face twists into a scowl and her voice comes out sharp as a blade. “Gabriel and Michael can destroy each other. It’s the Chosen One I want.”

Claire leans forward, meeting Uriel’s gaze. “What is it you want from him? What do you think he can give you?”

“I want peace.”

*

The car nearly runs him over. William collapses into the road and tires stop half an inch from his head. He doesn’t care; he’s dying anyway.

A soldier steps out of the vehicle swearing. A hand wraps around his arm and jerks him up, none too gently. Rude, really. “Hey buddy, you okay? Open your eyes.” His eyes, right. The man has to make sure he isn’t an eightball. He recognizes the man vaguely, and he apparently recognizes him too, because he lets him drop back to the pavement.

“Whele. You’re supposed to be dead.”

William blinks until the stars fade from his vision. “You mean I’m not?”

“I know what you are. I should shoot you right here and now.”

A gun points at him. William may not be a born politician like Claire, but he is his father’s son. “Information, I have information. I can tell you who the other acolytes are.”

The soldier—Ethan Mack, he remembers—lowers his gun, but doesn’t holster it. “Why should I believe you?”

William stands straighter, his anger giving him a surge of strength. “I lost everything because Gabriel. My father, Claire and he…he _left_ me out here to die. I gave everything and he left me nothing! I want to make him pay.”

Ethan considers him a moment. “You care about Claire?”

“I love her.” He says it simply, like the irrefutable fact it is. The sky is blue and he loves Claire. He always has, since they were children.

“You armed?” Ethan asks. William pulls the gun from his waistband. “Only one bullet left. I was saving it for myself if things got too bad.”

Ethan puts his on gun away. “I got ammo. You know how to use it?”

“Point and pull the trigger. It isn’t terribly complicated.” William wonders if Ethan has any water to spare. His throat is parched. “Do you have any water? You aren’t a hallucination are you?” For the first time he notices that the soldier is covered in scratches and has splotches of blood on his uniform. “What happened?”

“Had a run in with an archangel. She took your wife.”

William’s blood runs cold. “Claire’s been kidnapped?”

“Yeah, and we’re going to save her. And Alex.” Ethan looks him over head to toe. “If you don’t drop dead on the way.”

“I’m stronger than I look.” William grits through his teeth. Claire is in trouble. He has to be strong, he has to help save her. It won’t be enough, it’ll never be enough. “What’s our plan?”

“We find Michael. We need his help. I’m only bringing you because I need another warm body. Don’t expect me to keep you alive.”

“I can keep myself alive. I have to find Claire.”

Ethan meets his eyes and looks at him for a long moment. “She’s never going to forgive you, you know.”

William closes his eyes. Breathes in. Breathes out. “I know.”

There is pain in the knowledge. Gabriel taught him pain makes him strong. He doesn’t know if that’s true. He has broken and became stronger in his broken places. Gabriel said to be strong is to be worthy. William isn’t sure he’s ever been strong in his life. He’s been weak. Weak enough to lose his faith. Weak enough to let Gabriel use him. Weak enough to never stand up to his father.

Claire is strong. She’s kind and compassionate and intelligent. She’s better than he ever deserved. She will hate him for what he’s done. She will never find him worthy of forgiveness. He may save her, but he will never have her. She will never love him. But she will be safe. She will be happy. That is enough. Of all his mistakes, she will be the one thing he gets right. She will never forgive him, but that’s okay.

He will find his own way to be worthy.


End file.
